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So towards the end of med school, I started to read some pertinent books and hanging out guhs guys savvier than hardfr in hoikup dating realm. Slowly, I caught on that everything I knew about dating and women was wrong. A few years later, right about when I was a pre-med advisor to Harvard undergraduates, I noticed that my friends and advisees were in a similar pickle. Here were smart, funny, good-looking guys surrounded by single women who were dying to be asked out - and not a whole lot was happening. See, I like smart people. I like to see smart people succeed -- even created a blog for smart people. Why should anyone suffer like I did? Clues cure cluelessness, so I provided some clues for the smart boys.

Why Do Smart Guys Have A Tough Time Dating?

To harfer you who work at the likes of Google, Amazon, Microsoft, D. Shaw, McKinsey -- all the geeks, nerds, grad students, techies, hafder, engineers hardee gadgeteers. It goes out to all the year old virgins, the still-unmarried year olds, and the already-divorced year olds who don't know what hit them. If there were a dating bible for the smart manthese would be its commandments: Don't just wait to get lucky - make stuff happen. As a teenager, I always wondered, when would it happen for me? When would Why is hookup harder for guys beautiful girl take me by the hand, look deep into my eyes, appreciate all my wonderful quirks and make out with me torridly?

You create your own luck. If you like a girl, talk to her and ask her out. You don't expect to ace an exam just by getting lucky, do you? So step up and put in some elbow grease. Which brings us to Wimpiness may be the root of all the dating woes of smart men. So quit being chicken already. Ask her out again. Set up the whole date: Don't be afraid to ask for what you want or to get righteously indignant when warranted. Worry less about offending people, more about having fun. Be comfortable in your own skin. You're a science geek? You love computers, baseball cards, classical music, anime?

You're a horny little devil? People only love us for who you are, not who we pretend to be. I know it's fashionable amidst the smart set to be dissatisfied with yourself and to keep striving for more, bigger, best. Physical pleasure is awesome. So, having failed to solve our loneliness, we try to convert our hook-up into social capital.

Men, myself included, enjoy getting to drop a Why is hookup harder for guys or two that things went Why is hookup harder for guys well with that girl from the bar the night before. But the reason we say things like this is less about actual happiness — of having had a phenomenal time — and more about the social cachet it buys. Why not use college and the majority of your twenties for jumping through brief relationships and sexual encounters? After all, hook-ups usually fade in a few weeks, maybe even after just one night. The problem with this though is that in order to have a healthy, long-term relationship in the future, you need to become comfortable with yourself now.

On online dating sites like Match. Use a good quality camera. It will make you look more attractive. Include at least one full body photo. Using one in your photo lineup will increase your response rate. Nix the posed group shots. Studies have shown they decrease your response rate. Get female feedback on your photos. It tacks 7 years onto your perceived age online. Include overtly sexual photos, even on a more casual app like Tinder. The vast majority of women find them distasteful. Post pro photos obviously taken in a studio. Have the photographer meet you at a visually interesting outdoor spot instead.

Bring Your Profile A-Game While nailing your photos is arguably your biggest priority, if you want to reel in the highest quality women, you need a top notch profile. Different dating sites and apps have varying formats and character lengths, but there are a few Golden Rules of profile writing: Let your inner alpha male shine through. We talked about it in the photo section, and the same rules apply to your profile. Research has shown time and again that women are instinctively drawn to certain traits like bravery, intelligence, and a willing to take risks.

Make sure your profile highlights these kind of personality traits in an attractive way. Turning your profile into a laundry list of adjectives is boring, and boring is the kiss of death in online dating: Something like this would work great: The example above draws her in and makes her want to learn more about you. For dating sites like OkCupid and POF where the profiles are typically longer, this formula creates a winner every time: Paragraph 1 — Grab her attention with a compelling story or anecdote. Paragraph 2 — Tell her what you do for a living in an interesting way. Paragraph 3 — Describe a few of your hobbies, interests, etc.

For everything you need to know about writing profiles for dating sites and apps, check out our Ultimate Guide To Online Dating. Quick caveat — be honest about the biggies, like whether or not you have kids, and stick to slight exaggerations only.